Well played, super clean sliding glass door I thought I’d left open. Well played.
$6 for two cookies at the farmer’s market.
They better have been made using organic free range children’s tears.
You Might Also Like
I should really stop getting stoned before I shower. I think I just washed my hair 16 times.
Donkey Kong sommelier
Murder was so easy in the 1800s… little bit of poison in your soup, murdered. Technology has ruined everything.
God (inventing humans): hey someone throw a rock at the lizards i have a worse idea
Look deeply into my eyes and tell me what you see…
Is it an eyelash? Seriously, help me out, it’s killing me.
Apparently this isn’t a nude beach. This isn’t a beach at all. I’m at Target. Don’t do drugs kids.
Netflix suggested I watch my kids.
How to lose weight:
1. Name your kid Weight
2. Take it to the mall