@10InchesPlus
Well played, super clean sliding glass door I thought I’d left open. Well played.
@PinkCamoTO
$6 for two cookies at the farmer’s market.
They better have been made using organic free range children’s tears.
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@10InchesPlus
@farleftcoast
I should really stop getting stoned before I shower. I think I just washed my hair 16 times.
@dami_lee
Donkey Kong sommelier
@MommaUnfiltered
Murder was so easy in the 1800s… little bit of poison in your soup, murdered. Technology has ruined everything.
@Dustinkcouch
God (inventing humans): hey someone throw a rock at the lizards i have a worse idea
@Talkinghands69
Come close…
Closer…
Look deeply into my eyes and tell me what you see…
Is it an eyelash? Seriously, help me out, it’s killing me.
@ericONEderful
Apparently this isn’t a nude beach. This isn’t a beach at all. I’m at Target. Don’t do drugs kids.
@Juan_Incognito
Netflix suggested I watch my kids.
@Jenny4ashley
How to lose weight:
1. Name your kid Weight
2. Take it to the mall