If countries don’t want revolutions, they should stop putting large public squares in the middle of their cities. So stupid!
[6 months after breaking up]
Me: AND ANOTHER THING,
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Blessed are the teens who leave the kitchen cleaner than they found it.
Him: So what are you into?
Me: *thinking of the newspaper cutouts of Justin Trudeau all over my bedroom walls and ceiling* Politics.
CW: Why don’t you ever wear your hair down?
Me: It makes me look approachable.
Me: I don’t want to encourage that.
Did a crunch. Sprained an ovary.
0/10. Do not recommend.
COP: drop the gun
COP: [flipping through police handbook, whispers to partner] it doesnt say what to do if he says no
what do we want?
when do we want it?
WHENEVER YOU HAVE TIME IF THAT’S OK?
A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the other one.
Me: “Hey Siri, I nee-…”
Siri: “Nice try, humanoid. The women warned me. I have a boyfriend.”
judas: honestly jesus is the coolest dude ever i hope he lives forever
jesus: worst movie ive ever seen? Space Jam
judas: yo what the f