SORRY FOR MY POOR VOLUME CONTROL REGULATION BUT THIS IS A GOOD CUDDLE
6: What’s a hangover?
Me: The interest repayment on fun.
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the fondue…? you mean, my drinking cheese?
“Does anyone have anything else for the offering basket?”
? ????? ?? ????? ???? ?????
You can tell a lot about a person
by his hot dog stand order
I knew the guy was a Buddhist when
he said “Make me one with everything”
If you dropped two noodles on the floor, they would probably resemble my name more than my signature does…
HR: Once again – “Judy from the Internet said so” isn’t a valid excuse….
Waiting on this storm is like waiting on your mom to get home when you’re in trouble.
You know she’s pissed, you just don’t know HOW pissed
My girl stayed true and my dog didn’t die, I’m sober
~no country song ever.
Ask someone if they’ll watch your bag for you but never actually leave just sit there and watch your bag together with your new friend.
“Apologize or die”