6-year-old: *shows off her new fancy pen*

Me: That’s so nice. Who gave you that?

6: My boyfriend.

Me: Give it back.

You Might Also Like


A colleague has just been fired from work and someone else put their hand up and asked how it would affect the Secret Santa


If you watch Benjamin Buttons backwards it’s very confusing bc you can’t understand what people are saying


Lawyer: the evidence points to him as our prime suspect

Me [lips on the mic]: tell the evidence it’s not polite to point


I like you, but I don’t “give you a roll of my toilet paper” like you…


After staying home with the kids, my first day back to work was going great until I peed with the door open yelling SHARE!


TORTURER: *panicking as he’s waterboarding SpongeBob* he’s just getting bigger