@gobmentcheese: 60% of my childhood was spent showing all my work on math tests.
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@rickkondell: If you need to rush somewhere, carry a fire extinguisher. Nobody will stop a person running with a fire extinguisher.
@RdrJay47: I'm sorry I hosed off your toddler as he walked by my house but I can't afford to get sick right now.
@ashmensch: Ambien: Remember the time we picked a fight with Gary's garden gnome, chugged a jar of mayonnaise & passed out naked in Arby's parking lot?
@BrattyBarbie: I don't care how old you are, the only safe way to guarantee the monster under the bed doesn't grab you is to use the run and jump method.