@gobmentcheese: 60% of my childhood was spent showing all my work on math tests.
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@squirrel74wkgn: Seems like the “how to use a fire extinguisher” video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30 second ad before it.
@BigFatNothing: A local business in my town has an open carry discount. As in, you show them a gun to save money. Doesn't that discount apply everywhere?
@trojansauce: DAVE: sorry im late alvin needed me DATE: is that your son? DAVE: for the last time gwen, he's the lead singer in the chipmunk band i manage
@SteveSuckington: [first date] Me: so u just wanna poke ur straw thru that little hole Her: I know how juice boxes work Mom: well isn't she a feisty one?