Son: Sire, I wish to change my name
King: Why, Prince Stephen?
Son: Because you call me “Prince S”
King: Haha yeah that never gets old
6am: Too tired
8am: This isn’t so bad
1pm: OMG so tired
10pm: LETS SWIM THE ENGLISH CHANNEL & OVERTHINK FOR HOURS
You Might Also Like
Next time I open up to someone is my autopsy.
If I could time travel I’d go to my funeral and take names of people who seemed to be handling it a little too well.
I only buy the essentials on Amazon.
*Opens new Night Vision Goggle Kit*
[dragging knife across my cheek] you should be so lucky to find my hair in your food
Wendy’s manager: you are very fired
There’s plenty of fish in the sea. There is also a pile of trash the size of Texas.
Guess which one you’ll end up with
The average human now spends 1.5 years of their life waiting for dumb post-credits scenes.
We DID NOT walk 500 mile.
And we WOULD NOT walk 500 more.
~ The Disclaimers.
I trick people that I know Spanish by quoting fragments of Spanish songs I know, la bamba.
Not sure which is worse, the CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch saying he doesn’t want ugly people wearing his clothes or that people still wear A&F