@Bluestmoon_: 78% of parenting is spent anxiously praying they don't notice the minuscule lego piece you just vacuumed up.
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@WritePlay: I like that in The Little Mermaid, Ariel & King Triton wouldn't violate a contractual obligation, but they murdered Ursula with a ship.
@ajax06: My favorite thing to say to old people is, "When I was your age I didn't believe in reincarnation either".
@ShortSleeveSuit: ME [first and last day working at Supercuts]: *styles everyone’s hair like Dog the Bounty Hunter*