Hold me closer, tiny dancer. Oh my… not that close. I can’t breathe. How are you so strong? LET ME GO TINY DANCER
7yr old: What’s 10+10+10+25+25+5+1+1?
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Me: Hey if I said you had a nice defibrillator, would you hold it against me?
Paramedic: (blushes) Nooooo…
A hexagon is what Mario says when he frees himself from a curse
“I’m the only cop on the force who can play the bassoon dammit” “Not anymore” New cop in sunglasses walks in, just killing it on the bassoon
Still not stuck on a deserted island, and beginning to lose hope
*Me & dog*
*duel for the last piece of chicken*
*tosses a stick to distract*
*fetches the stick*
*chicken is gone*
Well played Peanut…!!
Maybe he went out for the knight?
I wrote “Clarence sale” instead of “clearance sale” and now there are angry old ladies here looking for a husband.
but was it fire…?
my girl’s so sweet she always texts me Disney lyrics when she’s away with our mates like “you’ve got a friend in me”