@just1fool

8:I like cheese!

Me:I like cheese more.

8:No! I like cheese more! I love cheese!

Me:You don’t know what you’re getting into here.

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@donni

Slowly, Waldo’s wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together

@SlickestOfRicks

What’s up, girl? Do you like bad boys [kicks rug] or good guys [fixes rug]?

@NikatNiteNite

Hubs and I have fought so much lately I’ve lost 10 lbs. I thought about leaving him, but I’d like to lose another 10 lbs first.

@Mike_Bianchi

To save money, instead of going to the club, I just get drunk at home and yell “what?” into a mirror over and over.

@tacos_y_cerveza

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth the $20

@MumsieEsq

Just blocked all users from Central & South America. I doubt this “Zika” virus can spread thru social media but why take the risk?

@huntigula

psychic: [sees guy in crowd w/ a pony tail] Sir did u know a Chad?
“yes”
From karate?
“YES”
Chad wants u to know he’s ok
*guy starts crying*

@Reverend_Scott

Dog: WHAT IF I’M HERE ALONE FOREVER

Dog 911: WHAT WILL U EAT

Dog: probably eat the cat LOL

Dog 911: LOL

@HorribleDancer

Just once, I want someone to kick the guy grinning and waving behind the news reporter.