I put the “native” in descriminative…
Wait, that’s not good.
“911 what’s your emergency”
I GOT STABBED LIKE 3 TIMES
“lol pics or didn’t happen”
You Might Also Like
Reached a point in my life that I have no ‘bones to pick’ nor ‘axes to grind’. Most would call it forgiveness, I call it memory loss and it’s peaceful.
WHO DID THIS?
I used to think chiropractors were useless till I had back problems… Now, I stand corrected.
Shakespeare making a mixtape: Tupac or not Tupac
He died doing what he loved
Making toast in the shower
This headline is a thing of beauty
I’m not a bad person, although once I blew a paper straw cover at my husband and it stuck in a lady’s hair and I didn’t tell her.
Oh you’re a jogger? Good for you. I just burned 3000 calories in under 30 minutes.
Can’t believe I forgot that pizza was in the oven.
me: hey dad will you pass the turkey
dad: *pats belly* I sure hope so son