“Full House fans have found a 1993 episode of the show called “Be True To Your Preschool”. In it, Loughlin’s Aunt Becky stops Uncle Jesse (John Stamos) from lying to get their toddler twins into an ‘elite preschool'”
AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA
You Might Also Like
Just read a few inspirational tweets about courage and confidence and GUESS WHO IS GOING TO ROB A BANK TONIGHT?!!
My parents would hide fruit roll ups on top of the refrigerator where I couldn’t reach them. And leave chemicals under the sink.
I’m not country but I did just stop my car on the side of the road so I could put three goats in the backseat to take home and cut my grass.
Me: Things are going well. *knocks on wood*
5-year-old: Who’s there?
Me: It’s not a knock knock joke.
5: It’s not a knock knock joke who?
I told my son we were going to have a dance party and he ran to the kitchen to get cups and straws and said we couldn’t have a party without drinks and that we needed to hydrate so am I finished parenting now?
I wonder if racist families have that one liberal uncle who gets drunk at Thanksgiving and goes on about how Obama is DEFINITELY American.
“Pasta la veista, baby”
-Arnold Schwarzenoodles
Me: Hello, is it me you’re looking for?
Her: no
Me: *dials another number* Hello, is it me you’re looking for?
Plot twist: The Rock isn’t Kid Rock’s real dad.
Hey, girl at the gym that keeps moving to the opposite corner every time I get on the machine next to you, yes, I feel the chemistry too.
Dear student loan, thank you for saving my life. I can’t think how I can ever repay you.
A Norwegian version of the idiom “like a fish out of water” translates to “like a Dane on skis.” And an old Norwegian phrase for someone sneaking out of a party without saying bye is “making a Swede of oneself.” Conversely, a Finnish euphemism for vomiting is “speaking Norwegian”
It’s like being a teenager again. Gas is cheap and I’m grounded.
I think we should send notes to our bosses like when we were in school seeing if your crush liked you but it’s “will you give me the raise I deserve check yes or no”
*Uses public restroom
**Squats so long walks out with buns of steel
The only acceptable C word for describing women is Confident.
Cunts love it when you call them that.
An accountant who disappears with all his client’s money is a math magician.
I’m 43 years old and still ask if I’ll need a shot and expect a lollipop every time I go to the doctor.
Remember they’re just as afraid of seeing you dance as you are of dancing.
I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.
9 has decided to write a book called “True facts about idiot humans”
And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about her source of information
*drops off box to Salvation Army*
“Sir, why is this box marked W I F E?”
*peels out*
2020: How to turn 5 pieces of clothing into a yearlong wardrobe.
Catching up on last night’s crime shows, don’t spoil it….. does someone die? No, don’t tell me.
My son called out my daughter for not knowing which teams were playing in the Super Bowl and said that she’s only showing up for the food. My daughter stared him down and said, “I honestly don’t see the problem here” and slow blinked at him.
Anyway, she’s my new life coach.
some inanimate objects that are secretly plotting against you
It might be time to diet when you ask Siri to call your ” boyfriend” and she dial’s up Domino’s pizza
Karma said if you keep calling her a bitch she’s going to show you what a bitch really is.
Told my kid he better not steal another candy bar cuz “we don’t have time to get arrested” if you’re looking for a parenting role model.
Have no idea why I consider this *so* hilarious. But I do. 🤣🤣🤣