Top Five Accountant Taboos:
5. Unreconciled difference
4. Doesn’t foot & crossfoot
3. No journal entry support
2. Cooking the books
1. Sex
You Might Also Like
My daughter, age 6, is into playing Would You Rather and her questions are not for the faint of heart, i.e., “Would you rather have eyes, or a grandma?”
For 10 years I believed my best friend was a mute, but it turns out that someone has just drawn a boy in the corner of my glasses.
Stores today are like, thanks for buying this gum, please tip us 20%, apply for our credit card, and round up to save the children. Also fill out this survey.
You know who the real winner is today? The guy who sells “I voted” stickers.
DENTIST: Have you been flossing?
ME: Have you been flossing?
DENTIST: *sweating* This isn’t about me.
Why do men named Bartholomew go by Bart when they could go by Mew?
pretty messed up how “what are you weaknesses” is an acceptable question in job interviews but not on first dates
Me: and for my last wish, I want to be hung like a horse.
Genie: As you command. *a massive, extra strong gallows and noose appears*
I didn’t believe in miracles until I folded the laundry this morning and all the socks had a match.
Me: Did you throw your carrot-sticks in the grass?
3yr old: No, the crow did it
Me: You know you must always tell the truth, right? Fibs are bold
3yr old: *points out window
Me: *See’s crow stealing and flinging carrot-sticks in the grass
3yr old: It’s nice to say sorry.
Told my roommate that megamillions was up to $825 million and she said, “yeah but that’s only $400 million after taxes”. Our kitchen is in our living room.
The fastest way to teach a kid to ride a bike is to strap their feet to the pedals and chase them with broccoli.
Incredible news from my son’s school as he informs me he knows a 5 year old named Alan.
It’s adorable when you give someone an informed opinion that they completely dismiss and then someone else basically says the exact same thing and now it’s a brilliant idea they’ve never heard before.
Every month my landlord sends an email letting me know that in these trying and uncertain times rent is still due on the first.
The first workout after vacation week reminds you of how many cheeseburgers you had while on vacation
He just like my cat fr
Google reviews are always so mixed..
I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end, I’d like to add you to my professional networkLinkedIn Park
“That’s horrible ! I’m never getting married !”
– My 9yo, after I told her my wife and I no longer surprise each other with gifts, we just tell each other what we want
It’s “Bring Your Kids To Work Day” and all my cats are fighting in the break room.
Husband praying mantis: I have a headache
I don’t like changing clocks twice a year. It gets expensive buying new clocks.
How I handle confrontation:
Them: Aimee!?
Me: *falls to the ground*
*does the worm*
Been yelling i need a job at my phone for 6 hrs each day so that I get targeted ads about jobs. Now the jobs are looking for me.
Me: What are you doing?
My 6yo: [buttering the piano] Nothing.
[at a restaurant]
me: i think i misread your tinder bio
squirtle: squirtle.
Hubby’s head seems like it’s almost twice the size of mine.
We are never having children.
told my girl I was going to a wine tasting, now she’s coming and I was just gonna eat a dead bird and some expired cat food behind a Costco