What Abba never mentioned is that Dancing Queen is really a figurehead position. All the real power is in the hands of Dancing Parliament.
You Might Also Like
Must suck to see your ex getting married. I wouldn’t know, all mine have died in mysterious, firey car crashes.
These childbearing hips have yet to turn one single child into a bear and frankly, I’m disappointed.
Vladimir Putin seems like the kind of guy who would fake a sneeze and flip the board over when he’s losing at Risk.
6YO: Can I eat a cookie?
Me: Finish your dinner first
6YO: My stomach is full except for a circle shaped space
*at a family reunion, jesus pours a drink and hands it to santa claus*
so, how are we related again?
As a kid, I thought Simba was crazy to run after Mufasa was killed.
But, after watching so many true crime docs, I get it. It does look like he lured his dad to that gorge. Witnesses heard him sing “I just can’t wait to be king.”
A good prosecutor could get a conviction with that
Do the people who set the paper towel dispensers to only dispense 2 inches at a time not know that I’m gonna take like 27 of those things?
Ive started investing in stocks… Mainly beef, chicken and vegetables. One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.
Barbecues are just a theatrical way of letting your neighbours know you’re going to be eating 2 hours later than planned
I broke up with a guy because he killed a horse on Skyrim.
i’ll never forget what my Grandad said to me just before he kicked the bucket
“Grandson…
how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
Everyone “I learned a lesson ”
Me: “Imma do it again!”
wife hoping for a normal day: good morning
me: im gonna try to become left handed
I thought white noise was the sound of people complaining at Starbucks.
Found pickle trapped next to a rock in the river. Grabbed it out of curiosity. Realized it was a pickle. Grossed out I threw it back into river. Decided I needed a picture. Chased pickle down the river. Jumped in river in newly thrifted sneakers for pickle. Took picture. Voila.
If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.
[inventing napkin dispenser]
bob: it has two settings
ceo: ok
bob: one at a time
ceo: ok
bob: or 37 at a time
ceo: first of all i love it
I always cry at those YouTube videos of babies getting hearing aids and hearing their mother’s criticism for the first time.
“most famous reindeer of all” isn’t all that impressive tbh. compared to whom, exactly
Kids, you can grow up and be
whoever you want …….. it’s called
identity theft.
I’ve been watching a lot of tiktok lately and y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.
Flock of bats
I’ll save you the trouble of testing my saliva swab. It’s mostly Oreo crumbs.
Has anyone told ice cream shops about big napkins?
what if a snake fell asleep wrong and when he woke up his him was alseep
Nietzsche: God is dead
God: Nietzsche is dead
[they both turn to camera]
THAT’S RIGHT, WE’RE DEAD SERIOUS ABOUT OUR MATTRESS PRICES
Feeling pretty tough lately and thinking about joining a gang. Any of you guys need an accountant?
Me: [Advancing my knight] How much to build a hotel on this square?
Grim Reaper: First, as I explained, that’s not how the horse moves.
[pet store]
Um hi can I have 4 turtles & 1 rat
Clerk: hah trying to make ur own ninja turtles dude
Me:*hiding miniature sai and katana* n no