If the sprayer in the sink can’t get it off and the dishwasher can’t get it off then I assume it’s just meant to be a part of the pan.
You Might Also Like
Son: Are you eating pie for breakfast?
Me (eating pie): No. Fruit casserole. Want some?
Son: NO. I hate casserole.
Me (whispers): I know…
Oh, I see you’re an extrovert. Sorry, we can’t be friends. I already have a friend who’s an extrovert. One of you is enough.
*Learns sign language to keep arguing with boyfriend while giving the silent treatment*
my nudist neighbours are moving away and selling everything and I’m thinking the washer and dryer will be worth a look
I. FORGOT.
I. FORGOT.
“I’d like to raise a toast.”
*Cradles bread in arms, accepting this step into motherhood*
i’m cautious about following people back these days because i follow when they look normal and next week they’re banging horses
I hate it when my husband starts tossing around unnecessary words like “budget” & “shopaholic.”
I get more sympathy when I say that I don’t have a Costco near me than when I say someone died
just walked out of the grocery store and realized i parked like shit. an absolute garbage approach. i’m so embarrassed. i can’t be seen getting into this car. i’m running away. new life. just the clothes on my back and this cantaloupe
In a marriage it’s always a competition to see who can look busier, hence why I sighed and shook my head repeatedly while writing this.
Hamburger helps those who hamburger help themselves.
When I order pizza online, in the “Special Instructions for the Driver” box, I put “Tell me I’m a pretty princess”.
And they do.
And I am.
My creepy neighbour asked me if I think he’s creepy. The fact that he asked through my bathroom window after my shower just made it awkward
Surfing is a good choice for people who like skateboarding but wish it had more sharks.
[using ouija board]
Why isn’t he responding to us? I’m annoyed
H I A N N O Y E D I M D A D
Customer Service Person: is there anything else I can help you with today?
Me: Is this a date? It feels like a date now.
Every fancy restaurant now is just named after two ingredients you’d never eat together. It’s always like “Basil and Butterscotch” or “Honey and Clam.”
Somebody out there is thinking of you and the impact you have in their life. It’s not me, I think you’re an idiot.
HUSBAND: Why are you late?
ME: I was at church.
HUSBAND: I find that hard to believe. Did they have a breakfast buffet or something?
Me: This is DISGUSTING! WHO PEED ON THE WALL?!
7yo: Not me. I only pee on the floor.
yeah sex is cool but have you ever seen the jerk who went speeding past you pulled over by a cop like one mile down the road
My ex claimed I had a ‘hero’ complex, but whatever I think wearing my underwear on the outside of my pants is a bold & brave fashion choice
Tarantino’s Star Trek is 100% going to feature a planet where white people have to say the N-word to survive
Him: which of these two fanny packs is better?
Me:
Me:
Him: you can say neither
Me: oh thank goodness!
Here’s a poem in the shape of a Christmas tree. It’s called ‘Needles’.
College was the most expensive video-streaming service in last 2 years
velma: another mystery solved gang. there’s no such thing as the supernatural, just ol’ fashioned trickery
scooby doo, the talking dog: rol’ rashioned rickery
<gets on elevator >
Pushes all the buttons
Hugs everyone
Prays out loud that we’re not going to die
Gets off at the 2nd floor
Laughs
I would actually consider watching The Bachelor if one of the girls was a Praying Mantis.