the ‘grandma exploit’ is undoubtedly my favorite chatbot jailbreak to date. source here:
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I’m feeling a little too good about myself today, I guess I’ll call my mother.
my husband just committed the cardinal sin of asking my kid what she wants for Christmas so does anyone know where I can get a kids drum set at 6pm on Christmas Eve?
Who called the feminine product brand “Always” instead of “Periodically”?
*lint rolls you awake*
[interrupts gf talking about her dream wedding]
lol a horse drawn carriage?
“what’s funny about that?”
a horse can’t hold a pencil karen
Why aren’t you flourishing? Flourish, you piece of shit.
one time I was standing on the train platform with my airpods in and a guy taps me so I take one out and he goes “I just wanted to let you know i’m not trying to k*ll myself, I’m just jumping down to grab my hat” and jumped onto the tracks
My son’s favorite meal is what he calls ‘mommy toast’ which is when I make him toast but I have to pretend it’s for me and he steals it off my plate
I was in a gang once. We wore blue, traveled in packs, and ruled our turf with shiny instruments…wait. Band. I was in the marching band.
*Caterpillar marriage therapy*
Wife: he’s not the man I married
Husband flying around room: I’m the same on the inside Karen!!!
Todd on Facebook hates being sick.
Really Todd? Most people love it.
Star Wars spoiler:
Leia is Han’s father
Vader: Join the dark side!
Luke: Maybe. What’s your Wi-Fi password?
Vader: We don’t have Wi-Fi.
Luke: I’LL NEVER JOIN YOU!
Remember when we wished we could read people’s minds? Social media has shown just how shitty that power is.
What the world needs is a self help movie, cause lets face it, most of us won’t buy the book.
I just realized my 5-year-old has been stressed because he thought that a “trim around the ears” meant that we were going to take him upstairs and cut his ears off.
[Homeschool field trip to the laundry room]
Kids: Dad, what IS this place?
Me: I have absolutely no idea
a centaur has six limbs, a lower abdomen (horse torso), and an upper thorax (human torso), categorically making it a bug
Today is my favorite holiday of all. Happy I swear this top fit two weeks ago! to all who celebrate
Me, dressed Covid casual at work.
Boss: “Are you wearing a pillow case?”
Cigarettes only give you cancer if you let them. It’s called science. Maybe you’d know more about it if you read as many Yahoo Answers as me
Chaos is my favourite word that’s spelled like it means it.
What was the first thing you remember seeing on TV that made you cry? (I mean a scripted show, not a news report.)
You know shit’s getting real when someone bets their glass eye at the neighborhood poker game.
If pulled pork is pulled apart, can we call sausages “pushed pork?”
its a good thing we swallow 8 spiders a year bc if it werent for those spiders, we’d be swalowing hundreds of flies and smaller insects
Ok, I’ll admit it, my choice of words is sometimes influenced by which ones I think I can spell correctly.
Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.
Most fashion shows these days…