Is ChatGPT my father in law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it as fact
You Might Also Like
Me: I’d like the French dip
Waiter: Au jus?
Me: No, Catholic
Aries: You will be visited by three ghosts this Christmas. They’re all married, so don’t even ask.
“Sorry for the late response” is my email signature
The fastest land mammal is a toddler who’s been asked what’s in their mouth.
You know who DOES see something wrong with a little bump n’ grind?
Trevor in human resources.
Just ate a cheap foil-covered Easter egg & it was so disgusting, I ate 9 more to ensure my initial assessment was correct. I concur with me.
HOT LOCAL SINGLES WANT TO MEET YOU SO THEIR FELONIOUS BOYFRIENDS CAN STEAL YOUR I-PHONE
My husband just told me not to look in the vegetable drawer because it would ruin my birthday surprise, but if my birthday surprise involves vegetables, he may be in danger.
Gravy boat.
Gravy boat.
All the dishes are on my son’s bedroom floor so I’m drinking coffee from a GRAVY BOAT!
I spent a solid 10 minutes lecturing my kid about not writing on the couch with a pen and she said “It’s a marker not a pen.”
Hey, guy in Prius blasting heavy metal – decide which type of annoying person you want to be.
I can’t even tell you how much I would not enjoy this
do y’all like your PB&J with or without the door hinge
My daughter picked up my husbands kettleball and tried swinging it and ended up knocking a hole in the wall. She looks over at me and says, “Is that okay?”
I’m like sure, we always wanted a hole in the wall so go on with ya bad self!
A vulture floats lazily overhead. Here come a few of his friends. Oh, and a few more. Look, now they’re circling.
Maybe I should move.
[Crossword]
7 across) Person you work with, 9 letters
COWORKER
21 down) Person you hate, 9 letters
COWORKER
hate when you’re not sure if you shouted OH NO before or after you answered a call to someone you didn’t feel like speaking to
BT: “You’ve been prequalified for a low interest credit card!”
BR: “pass”BT: “Would you be interested in refinancing a loan?”
BR: “No thanks.”Bank Teller: “What color lollipop would you like today?”
Bank Robber: “JUST PUT THE MONEY IN THE BAG!”
Hubs cleaned out the garage without being asked so I’m looking back over the Ashley Madison list just in case I missed something.
IF YOU CANNOT HANDLE ME AT MY WORST THAT IS FINE I AM A TERRIFYING AND POWERFUL THING AND ALL SHOULD LIVE IN FEAR
*takes out trash, finds trash can lid frozen shut*
*drops bag on ground because if any raccoon is desperate enough to be out in this cold he deserves all the trash he can get*
One day I’m probably going to be too lazy to breathe and just die.
Warden: Have you completed your analysis?
Me: After poring over the data, your prison has some pros. And lots of cons LOL
Warden: I’m not paying you
I’ve never been more afraid of my wife than the time I ate a potato off of her plate.
me: I told our son it’s okay to cry if you drop your ice cream
wife: what did he say?
me: he kept laughing at me
My mom used to beat me with a camera.
I still get flashbacks.
I thought she was the one until I saw her make hot chocolate with water.
*as i lovingly cradle my mug of tea & gaze out the window at a beautiful meadow where several deer are prancing & butterflies are fluttering around & chipmunks are doing whatever the hell they do an intrusive thought pops into my head*
i wonder if my car is still in the pool?
I’m not necessarily saying it’s been a while since I sorted out my spice cupboard, but I have just found some star anise that’s technically eligible to vote.