There is a trend of babies being named after characters in “Frozen”.
“That’s Stupid” says a 24 year old named Ariel.
You Might Also Like
I finally figured out why the neighbor’s house is always so clean:
My kids don’t live there.
Growing up,
I knew my Mom meant business when she started yelling words I didn’t know existed.
My Therapist thinks i need a women in my life. But all the women i know thinks i need a therapist.
Q. Where did Capt. Hook buy his prosthesis?
A. At a secondhand store.
I’m not saying your dumb. I’m saying you’re dumb.
*holding huge scissors*
I hereby declare The Factory That Makes High Voltage Wires That Look Like Ceremonial Ribbons officially open for-
[Michael Cera being repeatedly asked by a librarian to speak up]
[visit to zoo]
See kids? All these animals have to live here in cages because they woke daddy up early one time.
ME: i’ve got two problems – i’m sick with covid, and i can’t tell the difference between the words “dying” and “doing”
DOCTOR: these tests say you’re doing incredibly well
ME: thanks tell my wife I love her
I was trying to get the bubbles out of my screen protector and I accidentally bought a horse on eBay.
Being an adult is bullshit. Babies get praised for being able to hold their heads up on their own like bravo your neck works, stupid baby
Don’t call me a party animal then get upset that I pooped on your carpet.
Me: I cleaned under the fridge and there were a bunch of Honey Nut Cheerios
Wife: How do you know they weren’t regular Cheerios???
Me: …
Wife: …
Me: *drinks water*
I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND RIGHT NOW, she screamed to the 2 liter bottle of club soda rolling around in the backseat.
Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.
*makes graveyard even scarier by carving all the tombstones into shark fins*
God: I’ve always regretted not making you the dominant species
Man: But you did—
Dog: She was talking to me
I backed my car into my husband’s car once when we were dating and for 25 years he’s not parked behind me.
Every time a zombie sneezes, it loses 5 pounds in body parts.
This frozen meal expects me to know what wattage my microwave is like I’m some kind of wizard.
Ever look at your coworker and wonder “how are they still giving you a paycheck”?
My new monthly budget
Gas $0
Clothes $0
Entertainment $0
Food $1500
Alcohol $1000
Por…. uhhh entertainment $500
[on Shark Tank]
Me: It’s a combat tank operated by sharks
Investor: Finally someone gets it
My hair looks amazing today. I hope I see everybody I hate.
When my sugar daddy told me no, I asked my sugar mommy, and my sugar daddy found out and now I’m sugar grounded.
Anyone who can get the straw in the Capri Sun on the first try can make your death look like an accident.
WHAT SIGN IS SHE
It doesn’t have to be a plane crash. If we’re stuck in traffic I’ll seriously consider eating the Uber driver.
Sorry I was gone for 3 years. I went on you-tube to watch to just one video.
That’s amazing.