– Twitter Closing inactive accounts
– Google Closing Inactive accounts
– Internet Archive & Wayback Machine Under Attack
– Nintendo going after Emulators
I’m starting to see a pattern. Now would be the time to back up ANYTHING you have not secured locally.
You Might Also Like
Doctor: Any cancer in the family?
Me: My mom is a Sagittarius, but I’ll have to check on everyone else.
Doc: …
My daughter has to give a weather report for school and I hope she does a good job and gets everything wrong.
Walking up the lighthouse stairs can be a very towerful experience.
Freak your cat out by running in the room, stopping abruptly to lick yourself and then running back out again.
Sometimes all you need,
is 500 million dollars.
[inventing oatmeal]
make sure it never comes out of the bowl once it dries
Parents who say “I’m not going to say it again” always say it again.
What I was warned about as a kid:
*Strangers in vans
*Gum taking seven years to digest
*QuicksandWhat I wasn’t warned about as a kid:
*Arguing with a computer that I’m not a robot
*Being sad when my favorite spatula breaks
*Meeting a “pickleball influencer”
My favorite part of The Lion King is the part where Nicki Minaj held up baby Simba.
I bet Usher shows everyone to their seats at his concerts.
Day 302 of my husband and I both working from home:
Me: *tapes note to microwave reminding coworkers to PLEASE CLEAN UP SPILLS THIS MICROWAVE IS FOR THE WHOLE OFFICE
This day in history. 1881. A man in Großliebenthal Ukraine hit by an 8 kg stone deduced that it was a meteorite as his wife was out of town.
Wife just found out my ring tone for her is “ding dong the witch is dead” so if anyone wants to race to Canada READY SET GO
My son (11) was talking to his friends playing fortnite and I hear him say, “My mom is a big deal on the internet” to which one of the kids said, “Is she on Onlyfans?” And son said, “What’s that?” And other kid said, “Google it” and when I say I have never run so fast in my life
Me: My wife got me a telescope for Christmas.
Neighbor: Nice. I got-
Me: I know. I watched you guys open everything.
Appears Hallmark doesn’t make a card for Condolences to a hot widow, for the untimely death of her elderly husband, under somewhat suspicious circumstances, and who may in fact be a person of interest.
*lies down in bed*
*closes eyes*
*gets comfortable and relaxes*Brain: *blows into mic* *tap tap* Okay, so where was I…
i love that bands still pretend to leave before their encore. like peekaboo for adults
If you drink 8 glasses of water a day you will die fully hydrated
Go on vacation so you can discover the earliest time that your kids will ever wake up
My mom enjoyed nearly 4 years as Grandma but thanks to my youngest her name is now Bogma.
Why did Gandalf bring a firework that suddenly transforms into a dragon to an elderly dragon attack survivor’s birthday. does he not like Bilbo
Runner: What’s your fastest race?
Me: Taking the trash out at night
DATE: Let’s go to your place.
ME: We’ll take my car *pulls out Hot Wheels car*
DATE: …
ME: Just kidding.
DATE: Oh, thank God.
ME: I don’t have a place. I’m homeless.
Phones down.
I do, however, think Starbucks should arrest people who are just pretending to write.
It turns out that when you’re asked which kid is your favorite, you’re expected to pick from your own. I know that now.
Nothing to do, you say?
Being a grammar perfectionist with big hamds and a small keyboard is the reason I have amger issues.