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@MrEd_EVH: A $300 dollar bat won't fix a $2 dollar swing
-life lessons from Softball Coach
@faizziy: Apparently "The WiFi signal is the strongest there" isn't the right answer when the boss asks "Why are you spending so much time in toilet?"
@SoulYodeler: Wait you *must* be the aunt I've heard soooo much about. The one who looks like Freddie Mercury and laughs like a jackal. Is this her honey?
@trevso_electric: Thor is definitely one of my top 5 favorite movies about hammers.
@LlamaInaTux: Me: I signed my son up for an appointment with a child psyhcologist
Doctor: That's me
Me: but you're an adult
Doctor: and a child psychologist