Everyone needs a plan B?
I’m already on plan M
A cheetah stalking its prey would be jealous of the way I pounce on the Skip Ad button on YT once the 5 seconds are up.
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somethings never fade away, like a memory of your first dog, or that line on your stomach after you sit for too long.
*Neil Armstrong sets foot on moon:
“NO… BIG… QUOTE… PLANNED… AND… NOTHING… SPRINGS… TO… MIND”
Houston: Did you say “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind”?
Neil Armstrong: uuuh, yes, yes I did
What sort of tape measure does the guy from The Guinness Book of Records use to measure the worlds longest tape measure?
Fun experiment: Go into any store and ask for “the big stupid looking guy” see who they bring you
Sensei: always expect the unexpected *pulls out picnic blanket*
Me: *instantly pulls out picnic basket*
Sensei: *hands me ninja diploma*
Oh honey, when I said I wanted to grind your face I meant with a meat grinder
People in Detroit call Grand Theft Auto V “Tuesday”
DUMBLEDORE: Say hello to our new Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher, Professor Totally-Not-Working-For-Voldemort.
SNAPE: Dude, seriously?
If I had wings, I’d spread them and soar like an eagle for about ten minutes then space out on a phone wire with these fat pigeons