@JennUflect: Teens are like the Magic 8ball of humans, they think they have all the answers & you want to shake them because what they said was stupid.

@ItsAndyRyan: Capt of Titanic: "Mayday! We are sinking" Coastguard: "What happened?" *Cthulhu makes throat-slit gesture with tentacle* Capt: "Iceberg"

@figgled: Small children who dress as Batman must be forced to fight crime. To teach them a lesson, about lying

@PaperWash: Cop: anything in your pockets that might hurt me? "Nah" *cop pulls out a pic of his ex GF and suspect* Cop: *wiping tears* I'm over it

@MomOfTeen: Bought some expensive neck cream. Directions say to apply it twice daily. If I slather it on every hour, I'll have the neck of a teen.