@shawn_spree: A Febreze commercial but with pot head teenagers trying not to get busted by their parents that had just walked in the house.
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@sip_at_home_mom: I wrote: You'll always have a place in my heart. AC sent: You'll always have a place in my hearse. Now "staying friends" seems unlikely.
@ElgatoEsmio: [sketchy parking lot] stranger: hey man, can you jump my car? me: maybe if i get a running start
@hamersauce: [after plane flies upside down for a full minute] pilot: sorry about that turbulence folks i was having a nightmare