You know that confused look that old people get when looking at new technology? I’m like that, but with salad.
A fun thing to say when someone asks if you have a sec is “I have a lot of secs.” Then wink. Then fill out sexual harassment paperwork.
You Might Also Like
When people complain that all Cristiano Ronaldo does is score goals, I don’t understand.
What do you want him to do?
Ghostbusters (1984): A large, jovial marshmallow sailor is burned alive amid the crossfire btwn humans and ethereal beings.
Cinderella is my favorite story about choosing a spouse based on shoe size.
I flip off the rollercoaster camera, then buy a mug with the picture on it, ride it again, flip off the camera again while sipping my mug
I would watch Real Housewives if it was like Game of Thrones and they would occasionally and suddenly behead one of the main characters.
ME: Hold on, let’s stay in the car until the song ends.
UBER DRIVER: No.
As if ” cray cray” wasn’t irritating enough, people have started shortening it to ” cray”….that’s just stu stu
My fortune cookie just says Hahahaha. Is that good?