@KalvinMacleod: A fun way to make things uncomfortable at work is to buy a box of donuts for everyone but keep them on your lap.
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@notacroc: Wife: y is a penguin w an umbrella in the- Me:*points to dog dressed as batman* so Bark Wayne isnt bored W: M: he needs an arch enemy, Karen
@david8hughes: Date: what do iguanas eat? Me: no idea, why? Date: you've got 5 of them Me: 2, those 3 are dead. I told you, I've no idea what they eat
@caliluvgirl77: Boyfriend: you want to go see the new Star Wars? Me: I LOVE STAR WARS BF: which was your fav Me: duh, Sorcerer's Stone