The Golden Globes is how everyone else on twitter gets revenge on sports fans.
A good lawyer can generally cite a couple hundred laws off the top of their head and that’s still fewer rules than the games my 11 y/o invents and makes me play with her.
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maybe less RPGs would be about killing god if gods stopped playing absolutely banging tunes whenever someone tries to kill them
Some people are dealing with real life crises right now and need your nudes now more than ever
They call it “childbirth” lest we get confused and give birth to a full grown adult.
Her: Hey, babe…guess what?
Her: *whispers* I’m not wearing any panties.
Him: You need me to do laundry?
After living in terror for 27 years, Gloria Estefan’s threat is realized; I open my car door, and am brutally attacked by the rhythm.
WHAT I SAID:
Woah! You look like Tina Turner on meth.
WHAT I SHOULD’VE SAID:
Good Morning Honey.
John Lennon: Here I stand head in hand, Turn my face to the wall—
Me: um, it’s fine if you just count to 20 while we hide
I’ve accepted that I’ll probably never say “I’d love to” without sounding sarcastic.
Grandpa: Look at you, shivering and hiding under the covers like a four year old. It was just a ghost story, no different than the ones I always told.
Me: BUT YOU’VE BEEN DEAD FOR 41 YEARS!