@DearAnyone: A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.
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@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: It's not fair. Boys can have beards but girls can’t. Me: Well, girls can have babies and boys can’t. 4: Want to trade?
@WhaJoTalkinBout: me: I won two tix in the car on the way home today! husband: cool, what for? me: Speeding and Failure To Maintain A Lane.
@_BurnsWhenIPee: Periods are stupid. Why am I being punished for not being pregnant? Shouldn't confetti be falling from my uterus?