‘Worcestershire’ sounds like the most awful shire a Hobbit could possibly live.
A graham cracker is just a white dude selling coke in the ghetto.
You Might Also Like
Let’s turn this Pizza Hut into a pizza home.
I’m watching ‘Dexter’ for inspiration. Entertainment. I meant entertainment.
March 23: Trump pretends to drive big-rig. House bill falls apart.
July 17: Trump pretends to drive firetruck. Senate bill falls apart.
Me: What are the lyrics to every 80s sitcom I’ve ever seen
Brain: Coming right up
Me: Remember to pay that bill
I accidentally hired a wordsmith instead of a locksmith and now my latched threshold has been compromised by a metallic puzzle solver.
therapist: and what did we say you should do when you’re feeling upset?
me: order a large pizza and eat it in the shower while thinking of ways to avenge those who hurt me
REPUBLICANS: I can’t believe Trump won.
DEMOCRATS: I can’t believe Hillary lost.
ME: I can’t believe it’s not butter!
If you, don’t know, how, to properly use a comma don’t use, them ok.
Twitter: where 20-year standup comedy vets get out-funnyed by accountants, college kids, junkies, & unemployed single moms on a daily basis.