@burrowed_deep: A guy just beeped for me to move from my parking spot and now I’ll be live tweeting from this spot for 3 more hours.
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@philEfanaddict: The first thing they teach you in AA is to stop hanging around other alcoholics. So I listened, and never went back.
@heymonroe: That moment of panic when you accidentally swipe left on Bae while getting food off your phone.
@jakob_huber: You'd think Bowser would start locking the front door of his castle after the first time Mario just walked right in like he owned the joint.