@jenstatsky: A guy who wears a ring is always a dealbreaker. If it's on his ring finger, he's married. If it's not, he's a guy who wears rings.
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@Reverend_Scott: [Interview] "You were arrested for armed robbery?" I had no choice. It's silly to try and rob a bank without your arms. "We'll be in touch."
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I bet the reason Kim Kardashian hasn't named her baby is because she doesn't know she's supposed to.
@Sal0630: If you've never actually got dressed, got in your car & pretended to drive "to work" to get a chick to leave your house then you're not me.
@urgeekisshowing: That awkward moment when someone asks if you've dyed your hair and you say no, its just clean.