@noxxhell: A homeless guy by the Gas station just proposed to me,it's a little short notice but I'm not getting any younger am I?
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@ilovepie84: The Tin Man carries around an axe because he is constantly afraid Ironman is going to hit on his wife.
@Xalqee: You know you're an Alcoholic when you can't even say the word "sober" without making air quotes
@thatUPSdude: Turns out HR doesn't care if it's national underwear day, you have to wear pants to work.