INCREASINGLY DESPERATE GOOGLE SEARCH FOR “HOW MANY SHADOWS SHOULD I HAVE?”
A horror movie short about a woman who is trying to work in a cafe and she slowly realizes the staff is setting up the room for an open mic
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*shows up at your hot dog convention wearing nothing but mustard and a smile.
[When Harry Met Sally, 1989]
i still think this meme was really special
Me: I lost my virginity to Barry White.
Her: Really? What song?
party at my place – b.y.o.b. (bring your own biocontainment)
Oh, you hate leftovers? Maybe you should’ve thought of that last night when I cooked a big meal and you were “not that hungry.”
You guys, Christ is rising again soon and to make him feel extra welcome, we’ve put up paintings of each stage of his murder
Breakups is just a fancy name for what happens when men win arguments.