@drankturpentine: *a jerk swings a hammer at me but I dodge and hold up a birdhouse that was one nail shy of being completed*
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SufficientCharm: My boyfriend thinks it's cute when I use the clap emoji but I've just been trying to tell him that I have an STD.
@kelly_pawlluck: Cute guy: I like that you just say what's on your mind Me: Why do you think Ginger was the only band member named after an actual spice?
@Tommytoughstuff: "Come on man! I'm sure your superpower is cool! Show me! "Ok" *stares at two glasses of soda* the diet is on the right." "Wow um..neat..."