Started a karate club for people who don’t know karate we just do moves we see in movies lemme know if you’re interested old ppl are welcome
A movie with a rating of 3.14 is a pirated movie
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you’d think someone who calls themselves a rat-catcher by trade would be more prepared for having a rat thrown at them, just goes to show people aren’t always who they say they are.
*dad walks in on me doing homework*
“HAH NERD MORE LIKE HOMOWORK”
Dad you’re still in third grade
“Probably because I’m not a nerd like you”
God making women: make them sexy and sophisticated but also confusing to operate.
Angel: soooo like an espresso machine?
Big props to the guy who realized we don’t need to mention air in the word airplane and started saying plane.
Sad that at 36 I have yet to experience the dirty dancing lift. If it doesn’t happen by 40 I’ll just start running at random strangers.
It saddens me that the closest my car will ever get to being a Transformer is when I fold in the side mirrors.
If you eat it & you die it’s poisonous. If it bites you & you die it’s venomous or a bear.
Have a headache? Eating a carrot can help if you take a Advil after it