Got arrested at the farmers market for taking a leek.
A nationwide recall of the popular children’s cereal Trix was issued today
“Just dump them out in your garden” said one long-eared FDA agent
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Lunch. Meeting. Sure, let’s ruin both at once.
“you should be more serious, sir. this is arson.” “no this is MY son!” *tousles his hair* “ha ha ha. so how many houses did the rascal burn”
I bet homophobic guys get reincarnated into condoms.
Me: If you’re going to serve alcohol at a company party, then you shouldn’t act so surprised when someone speaks their mind.
HR: Get out
Well if you cant buy babys at Babys R Us what in the world do they sell?
Having an older dog means ten seconds after you drop a piece of food, you have to drop an even bigger piece of food so they can find it.
My wife and I have been happily married for two years. 1997 & 2004
Pennywise does live in the sewer, rent free. That speaks to financial discipline. And he eats children, who are also free. Based on that, I’m gonna say the name is more likely earnest than ironic.
Him: Describe our relationship in two words
Me: Our what?