My daughter showed me a beautiful handmade wind chime project on Pinterest. I told her, “I don’t know who you think I am right now.”
A news report says hackers stole $1 Billion dollars from banks around the world. And several pens.
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Why did the man with no hands go to the doctor?
Because he didn’t feel well.
Rage against the machine? I bet it was a printer.
Ten things only 90s people remember:
10. That sound the modems made
Stephen is a much nicer name than “hen from a previous marriage.”
Don’t care what your religious or political beliefs are, if you’re male or female, young or old. I will tackle you hard for that last donut.
[first cat being domesticated]
What’s that thing your petting?
“It’s called a cat”
Do they bite?
“Oh ya LOL all the time!”
[First day of dropping kids off at school]
*Hugs and crying*
Nincompoopery is my favorite kind of poopery
[watching video of an amazing feat]
Age 20: i could do that
Age 30: he’s amazing
Age 40: doesn’t that guy work