@mattchew81: A nicer way to tell someone their breath stinks is to say "I'm bored, let's go brush your teeth!"
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@SufficientCharm: Pretty sure my dog is even ashamed of me right now, and I've seen him do some questionable shit. Don't ask.
@FlyJ_: My kid started doing this annoying preteen whiny voice and now I can turn my head all the way around like the exorcist.
@just1fool: Since I live my financial life under water I decided to put a "Beware of sharks" sign in my front yard.