@LizHackett: A posh woman asked where I got my boots and I didn't want to say TJ Maxx, so I told her I won them in a bar fight.
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@Buttija: Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it just becomes a soap opera.
@MichaelTrying: My behavior when there is a mosquito in the car while I’m driving suggests I am willing to die in order to kill a mosquito.
@trevso_electric: When I hear commercials say "win a trip for you and six friends" I start counting to see if I have six friends.
@KentTheG: I dated a meteorologist once just so I could be with a woman who wasn't right all the time.