@patsajak: A quiet day at the mall. Walking around, unnoticed, until someone yells, “Hey, it’s Pat Sajak!” Then pandemonium: handshakes, pictures, autographs. I’m almost sorry I yelled.
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@ItsAllBollocks: Nobody teaches you how to use a semicolon; you just read shit like this and it clicks
@weinerdog4life: There is a button on my microwave that says "super clown" and I do not ever push that button
@SeanBlazed: Miss someone? Paint a helium balloon like their face. Deflate it. Put it in your back pocket. They're still gone and that was weird advice.
@LoveNLunchmeat: The good news is I'm pretty much who I say I am. The bad news is I'm pretty much who I say I am.