A saltwater crocodile’s bite can exert up to 3,700 lbs of pressure per square inch, which scientists say is notably less than that produced by my Dad Stare. Tread carefully, chief

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Bob: I have a better idea.


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[planning robbery]

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me: [walks in wearing a flannel and carrying a pumpkin spiced latte]

leader: he’s perfect


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Me: I just bought a sensible lavender cardigan on clearance at Target, Jessica. I really don’t have time for your drama.


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Jesus walks on water and everyone is impressed. I walk on water and I’m seriously concerned about this ice breaking…