@cravin4: A sex boycott sounds fun and all but have you ever tried marriage?
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@copymama: My daughters built this elaborate house setup for their dolls, so I went over and threw a bunch of trash in each room to make it more realistic.
@KentWGraham: Just listed my wife as my emergency contact and added the note “please text, she doesn’t answer calls.”
@fro_vo: Superman: I have super strength Flash: I have super speed Aquaman: I control sea creatures Green Arrow: I tell cars when to turn left
@Prof_Hinkley: [emailing eHarmony match] Her: describe yourself Me: brown hair, kinda stalky Her: lol you mean stocky Me [through her bedroom window]: No