1.) Use microwave.
A Star Wars scene where drunk Luke and Han admit they have no idea what Chewie and R2 are saying, and then they both just start laughing
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Your jokes are only as funny as someone else’s sense of humor.
People on Twitter trying to one-up you in the comments like:
“Oh, someone close to you died? Well I’m in the process of saying my last wor-“
[end credits roll]
“I did not see that coming”
“Dude that was titanic”
Pilot: we’re gonna crash
Me: *to cute girl next to me* guess I should make these last moments count
Me: mhm *starts fast forwarding Shrek*
WebMD: stomach cancer
Her: *lights up smoke*
Me: *unwraps toothpick*
You have $5 to build your city. Do you build it on:
– swampland $1000
– arable prairie $22000
– beachfront $33500
– rock $2
– roll $3
– rolling meadows $9500
7am: woke up
8am: fell out of bed
9am: dragged a comb across my head
10am: found my way downstairs and drank a cup
11am: looking up I noticed I was late
12pm: found my coat and grabbed my hat
1pm: made tiktoks with my cat
[creating the Octopus]
Angel: How about a spider in a wetsuit?
God: Weird but I like it. Make it edible.