@Imnotsurehow: A sure fire way to lose a afternoon, is to help a friend out when he says "come on it will only take a half hour to fix"
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@KeetPotato: advice: describing someone's cupcakes as being "better than sex" is only a compliment if you aren't sleeping with them
@NewDadNotes: [sitting on the deck with my son] Me: look son, everything the light touches- Son: yes dad? Me: -you have to mow.
@ThaJawn: *breathes on window creating condensation *starts to write in condensation *sneezes *head slams into window and breaks it