@SteveKoehler22

A surge of capital into the Canadian
marijuana industry has stocks soaring.

Marijuana stock prices have now
reached a new …um …high.

You Might Also Like

@3sunzzz

My husband changed his cologne brand for the 1st time in 31 years. Now he smells like I’m having an affair.

@SlayerSays

Don’t model myself after Marilyn Monroe, but having imperfections & dying naked in bed clutching bottles of pills & champagne seems doable.

@donni

ME: Can I have the job please
INTERVIEWER: I meant, like, questions ABOUT the job
ME: Ah, yes. About the job: Can I have it

@sonictyrant

Girls with pigtails really freak me out, i cant help wondering what they did with the rest of the pig

@mommajessiec

Kid: Hey Mom.

Me: I’m asleep.

Kid: Where is the switch to the garbage disposal?

Me: I’M AWAKE.

@TheCheish

Mother: can you please fix my computer

Me: *leans back in chair* well… well … well … if it isn’t Miss ‘Get Off That Computer’ Years 1994 to 2006

@Pirate_nurse

I get the whole 3 meals a day thing but I’m confused about how many at night?

@AdamBroud

[slowly pushing iceberg in front of titanic]

little mermaid: 🎶I’ll have gadgets and gizmos a-plenty🎶