@CornOnTheGoblin

[a Swarm of Bees requests to be your friend] um ok
[a Swarm of Bees has invited you to event “Come Outside”] what tha

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@NickBossRoss

Sometimes I just start counting and hope the person talking to me will go hide.

@junejuly12

Apparently, “lead the way” is not the best response to your neighbour’s “may you burn in the eternal flames of hellfire” after his 17th wind chimes go missing under mysterious circumstances.

@envydatropic

I peed in the ocean yesterday and the fish are still drunk today.

@Swain_Train47

My favorite thing to do in cities is walk down busy sidewalks, pass by people, and say into my phone “Target is on the move.”

@SortaBad

20s: Rage Against The Machine

30s: Rage Against Literally Everything

@PyrBliss

A dragonfly just landed on my face an I reacted the same way I’d react if an actual dragon had landed on my face.