@caseytduncan: I only have eyes for you. I got them from the morgue. I'll probably get arrested.

@HelloCullen: Maybe print wouldn't be dying if they still employed tough dirty children to yell at me to read all about it

@david8hughes: If you see a distressed woman in the mall screaming that she can't find her baby, don't offer to help her make another one.

@TheTweetOfGod: It's not that people use only 10% of their brains, it's that only 10% of people use their brains.

@barryjohnharper: I just stabbed my salad 23 times with my fork & now it's a Caesar Salad.