I needed a break from stupidity so I left work early.
Abraham Lincoln is trending. Congrats to his social media team.
You Might Also Like
It sucks when you & your pal show up at a party wearing the same shirt…and an hour in, his chest hair starts sticking to your back.
Christmas is becoming more and more commercialised every year. Pushing up prices in every sector
This tweet is brought to you by Tesco
Engelbert Humperdinck actually chose that name, he was not born with it.
I think about this a lot.
Bicyclists, it’s one thing to hog the road, but it’s quite another to expect us to know your fancy hand signals. Also, I can see your balls.
Mr. Smith: My family names goes back to my ancestor that was a blacksmith.
Mr. Carpenter: Mine goes back to an ancestor that was a woodworker.
Mr. Dickinson: Mine goes back to an ancestor we no longer speak of
Brain: What if all cats are named Meow and all dogs are named Woof and they’re just correcting us when we call them by the names we gave them?
My coworker doesn’t like me which is weird bc her husband does.
“It’s Adam and Eve, not Adamant Eve!” Despite his clever wordplay, Eve stands her ground. ” I’m not doing butt stuff, Adam.”