@badbanana

Abraham Lincoln is trending. Congrats to his social media team.

You Might Also Like

@jjax44

It sucks when you & your pal show up at a party wearing the same shirt…and an hour in, his chest hair starts sticking to your back.

@DomBorrett

Christmas is becoming more and more commercialised every year. Pushing up prices in every sector

This tweet is brought to you by Tesco

@AngryRaccoon2

Engelbert Humperdinck actually chose that name, he was not born with it.

I think about this a lot.

@ambamthankyamam

Bicyclists, it’s one thing to hog the road, but it’s quite another to expect us to know your fancy hand signals. Also, I can see your balls.

@OctopusCaveman

Mr. Smith: My family names goes back to my ancestor that was a blacksmith.

Mr. Carpenter: Mine goes back to an ancestor that was a woodworker.

Mr. Dickinson: Mine goes back to an ancestor we no longer speak of

@BoredomDidIt

3am

Brain: What if all cats are named Meow and all dogs are named Woof and they’re just correcting us when we call them by the names we gave them?

@foxxy311

My coworker doesn’t like me which is weird bc her husband does.

@electrolemon

“It’s Adam and Eve, not Adamant Eve!” Despite his clever wordplay, Eve stands her ground. ” I’m not doing butt stuff, Adam.”