@leechee420: Accidentally ate the sticker on my apple. This wouldn't have happened if it had been a Snickers.
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@ibid78: [me] if all dogs go to heaven, then what about Cujo? [the pope] how did you get into my bathroom?
@Proxic0n: [Date] Me: So what goes in the bowl first, milk or cereal? Her: Trick question, I eat pizza for breakfast. *We just start making out*
@Roxtalled: *stands by cucumbers at grocery store *feels intimidated *hides by baby carrots *gets ego boost