@TheBoydP
My wife put toilet paper on automatic purchase and delivery from Amazon so we never run out.
Challenge accepted!
@mejustbeth
Accidentally bought a left-handed bottle of shampoo and now I have to shower facing the other direction.
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@TheBoydP
@CanadianBeave13
Midnight shift 6 of 8: I punched a mirror because it was dark and I thought my reflection was an intruder, I wait at stop signs for them to turn green and I tried to unlock the fridge with my car keys. This is life now.
@FknVancouver
My dog is so excited about me washing the car that I’m starting to think he borrows it while I’m asleep
@Skoogeth
everyone: IT WAS COLD OUT THIS MORNING BUT NOW ITS WARM! WHATEVER SHALL WE DO?
me: finally *slowly unzipping my khakis at the knee so they become shorts* now is my time to shine
@AllanForsyth
Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.
@mollandra
my parents’ wedding videographer intercut a clip from kermit and miss piggy’s wedding into their service?? without asking???
@WoodyLuvsCoffee
*Goes to zoo to see the world’s oldest tortoise.
Guide: He’s over 200 years old. How cool is that?
*Tortoise says something racist.
@Joydas
Half of Americans must be thinking Gaza Strip is the name of some Strip Club which Israel wants
@LuckoftheDraw86
So when is too soon to ask your friend if you can borrow their baby to reenact The Lion King? One day old? Two?