We grew up in the golden age of cartoons.
accidentally said “bring a ding ding those toes over here mommy” out loud to no one in particular at work the other day and one of the female employee’s said “Okay, it’s been fun here I quit”
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SHARK ATTACKS AT RECORD HIGH
Australia: Lets put nets out to keep bathers safe
USA: Everybody get a shark to protect you from other sharks
this is the most cat thing ive ever seen
I live in constant fear that my kid will become a famous artist or painter and I will have thrown out about a trillion dollars of her work
Pretty sure the “FINISH HIM” guy from Mortal Kombat is giving relationship advice to every girl I date.
The best part of running at 5am is the irrational, adult fear of zombies to keep you going.
ME: I think it’s time I get my life in order.
MORGAN FREEMAN: But he would not get his life in order. In fact, he got drunk that night and fought a raccoon.
did you get upset?
“that *beep* lied to me, she can go *beep* herself”
don’t do that. just curse and we will add the beeps
*A burlap bag is pulled off your head, a bright spotlight is causing you to blink*
WHERE DOES THE ARCHIVED MICROSOFT OUTLOOK EMAIL GO.
Me: what do want for your birthday
Friend: just a gift card or some shit
Me, at the party: *with a gross smelling gift* I think you’ll love it