@DurtMcHurtt: According to this bathroom stall, my ex changed her number again.
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@RocketRankoon: *swivels around in evil chair* *evil laugh* *pets evil cat* *evil cat laughs* *jumps out of evil chair* "Holy shit, that cat just laughed!"
@stockejock: When a cop pulls you over for a DUI at 2am on Friday night & tells you to walk the line-it's never good to start singing Johnny Cash songs.
@HatfieldAnne: For two years in high school, I took guitar lessons. Something interesting I learned is that guitar resale nets a 45% loss.